Pregnancy and Childbirth are the Gateway to Parenthood
This gateway is recognised in absolutely all cultures as being a significant transition in a person’s life just as reaching puberty. When we reach puberty, we move from being a child to an adult. When we get pregnant and give birth, we move from being a woman and man to being a mother and father. These are huge changes. Puberty for a woman occurs at one time … menses starts. For young boys this is not as clear a time.
Pregnancy and childbirth is an experience that only women physically experience. There is truth in the statement ‘no one will do the labour except you.’ However, pregnancy and childbirth stimulate emotional changes in both men and women. Many cultures honour the becoming a father. Many fathers exhibit physical and emotional sympathetic symptoms when their partner is pregnant.
This has been given termed ‘Couvade symptoms.’ The Pink Kit Method for birthing better™ resources have been loved by fathers ever where. They like the practical, can do approach and they can do. Men are absolutely wonderful childbirth coaches. Remember, they have all been born through a woman’s body. No woman has been inside a man’s body. And, they have the same body. Once they learn to work with the ‘pain’ of labour being part of the process (unless told differently) rather than indicating a ‘problem’; men will bring persistent and determined skills that their partners can rely on. In modern maternity care, the role of the father in childbirth has changed dramatically in the past 30 years. Up to the 1970s fathers were excluded from the labour and delivery.
In some cultures this exclusion existed historically and still exists. Women were left alone in a hospital ward or room while staff periodically came in and checked them. Since the 1970s fathers have been encouraged to support their partner in labour. As an aside, there are many terms used in childbirth discussions that no one has bothered to define or clarify but we are somehow all expected to know. Do your own research and ask 20 people what a natural birth is, what interventions mean or what a father is supposed to do to support his partner in labour. You’ll discover that we use those terms to mean or imply something significant yet few people have the same understanding. Since The Pink Kit Method has been used by so many women and men, we have come to find our own set of definitions. Birth is natural, it comes at the conclusion of pregnancy. Birth is natural, so is pain, death, bleeding, long labours, quick births, tears, pain free experiences, tension, relaxation, screaming, quiet breathing and all the combinations you can imagine. Childbirth interventions can be lying down for a vaginal exam, taking a shower if you’re tense, having someone breathe with you, taking castor oil to stimulate labour along with all the medical assessments, monitoring and procedures that people discuss.
Fathers, friends and relatives who support a woman can be there yet not know what to do, feel useless, helpless, a failure, know how to breathe with the woman, touch her just right, encourage her or wish someone would give her pain relief because she is so obviously suffering. Variability is the name of the game in childbirth. Yet, childbirth is a remarkably same experience for all women. (At the moment we will assume a woman will labour to give birth. Women who plan an elective delivery for personal choice or necessity can still use The Pink Kit Method. Doing so gives expectant parents a sense of involvement and closeness not offered in other types of childbirth education. Many of the skills learned are applicable.) Childbirth is an exercise in plumbing. An object will move through your container. Your job is to get out of the way of the object.
In other words, work with the process of opening up for the object and ejecting it. The opening up phase of childbirth is accompanied by a series of contractions that open the diaphragm (cervix). Once the cervix is open and when the object has moved through the tube (pelvis), the contractions begin to eject the object by opening the aperture (vagina). Not one woman in history or any place on Earth has given birth by a different experience. No baby has popped out of the crown of a woman’s head after a shiver started at her big toe, moving up her body until her cranium separated. No baby has delivered out a mouth, nose or ear. As silly as it sounds, we must remind ourselves of our similarities. Instead people have focused on all the variability’s, diversity and differences. Common Knowledge Trust shares our similarities: · The childbirth preparation that does prepare our physical container to allow this object to pass through it with less trauma.
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